Funny Horse Names
Every barn has at least one horse with a sense of humor: the gelding who unlatches every gate, the mare who spooks at the same bucket every day, the pony who thinks he's a Clydesdale. A funny name suits them perfectly and makes every vet visit and horse show announcement a little brighter. Here are more than 100 funny horse names, from “neigh” and “hay” puns to pop culture parodies, ironic names, food jokes and silly show names.
Prefer something classic? Our main horse names list and good horse names page have more traditional picks. Laughing already? Keep going with our funny cow names and funny goat names for the rest of the farm.
Horse pun names
Neigh, hay, mane, hoof and trot all lend themselves to groan-worthy wordplay. The louder the groan, the better the name.
| Name | The pun | Best for |
|---|---|---|
| Hay Girl | “Hey girl” | Friendly mares |
| Neigh Sayer | A naysayer who disagrees with everything | Stubborn horses |
| Mane Attraction | The main attraction | Show-offs with great manes |
| Mane Event | The main event | Competition horses |
| Hoofbeat | A heartbeat, horse-style | Sweet, loyal horses |
| Trot Almighty | God Almighty | Dramatic movers |
| Sir Trots-a-Lot | Sir Lancelot | Gaited horses |
| Neighomi | The name Naomi | Mares |
| Neightan | The name Nathan | Geldings |
| Hay-Z | Rapper Jay-Z | Cool, confident horses |
| Neighbor | Always next door, always chatting | Fence-line gossips |
| Haylee | The name Hailey | Hay-obsessed mares |
| Mane Street | Main Street | Easy-going geldings |
| Unstable | A horse... that's not in its stable | Chaotic horses |
| Colt 45 | The famous Old West revolver | Young male horses |
| Hoofer | Slang for a dancer | Fancy footwork |
| Foal Play | Foul play | Mischievous youngsters |
| Canter-bury Tales | Chaucer's <em>Canterbury Tales</em> | Bookish owners |
| Gallopin' Gourmet | The old TV chef “The Galloping Gourmet” | Foodie horses |
| Hay Jude | The Beatles' “Hey Jude” | Music lovers |
Pop culture parody names
Famous names with a horsey twist. Your barn friends will be quoting them for weeks.
| Name | Parody of | Best for |
|---|---|---|
| Harry Trotter | Harry Potter | Young, magical horses |
| Hermione Neigher | Hermione Granger | Clever mares |
| Luke Stallwalker | Luke Skywalker | Heroic geldings |
| Obi-Wan Kenoats | Obi-Wan Kenobi | Wise, older horses |
| Mane-y Poppins | Mary Poppins | Practically perfect mares |
| Brad Pitt Stop | Actor Brad Pitt, plus a pit stop | Handsome, speedy horses |
| Neighonce | Singer Beyoncé | Divas |
| Justin Thoroughbred | Singer Justin Timberlake | Racing Thoroughbreds |
| Taylor Swiftly | Singer Taylor Swift | Fast mares |
| Neigh-poleon | Napoleon Bonaparte | Short, bossy ponies |
| Sherlock Hooves | Sherlock Holmes | Nosy, investigative horses |
| Forrest Rump | <em>Forrest Gump</em> | Runners with a big behind |
| Pony Soprano | Tony Soprano | Barn bosses |
| Bridle Wars | <em>Bride Wars</em> | Mares who hate tack |
| Gone with the Wind | The 1939 film | Horses who bolt |
| Mr. Ed | The talking horse of 1960s TV | Chatty horses |
Ironic names
Nothing is funnier than a name that's the exact opposite of the horse wearing it. Draft horses and minis are especially good candidates; see our pony names for more small-horse ideas.
| Name | Why it's ironic | Best for |
|---|---|---|
| Tiny | For an 18-hand Shire | Draft horses |
| Speedy | For the slowest trail horse in the county | Plodders |
| Lightning | Moves at the speed of molasses | Lazy geldings |
| Brutus | A fearsome name for a miniature horse | Minis |
| Goliath | Biblical giant (1 Samuel 17) | Shetland ponies |
| Rocket | Refuses to break into a trot | Retired school horses |
| Killer | The gentlest horse in the barn | Therapy horses |
| Shorty | For the tallest horse on the property | Warmbloods |
| Grace | Trips over flat ground | Clumsy mares |
| Einstein | Afraid of his own shadow | Spooky horses |
| Brave Heart | Terrified of plastic bags | Nervous geldings |
| Sunshine | Permanently grumpy | Moody mares |
Food and snack names
Horses think about food almost constantly, so snack names suit them. For even more snack-inspired names, see our food dog names.
| Name | The joke | Best for |
|---|---|---|
| Oats McGee | Oats, with a surname | Greedy geldings |
| Carrot Top | Red hair, favorite treat | Chestnuts with flaxen manes |
| Hay Bale | Shaped like one | Round, easy keepers |
| Sugar Cube | The classic (occasional) treat | Sweet mares |
| Peppermint Patty | Peppermints are a horse favorite | Mares with a sweet tooth |
| Applesauce | Apples, mashed | Soft, gentle horses |
| Meatball | Round and lovable | Chubby ponies |
| Waffles | Breakfast of champions | Cheerful horses |
| Nacho Average Horse | “Not your average horse” | Unique personalities |
| Biscuit Jr. | A nod to Seabiscuit | Small but mighty horses |
| Beans | Full of beans means full of energy | Hot-blooded horses |
| Pickles | Random, crunchy, fun | Quirky horses |
| Potato | Shaped like one, moves like one | Lazy pasture pets |
| Butter | Smooth ride | Horses with smooth gaits |
Funny human names for horses
There's something wonderful about a 1,200-pound animal named Gary. For more, see our old man names.
| Name | Why it's funny | Best for |
|---|---|---|
| Gary | Sounds like an accountant | Serious geldings |
| Kevin | Mildly confused at all times | Goofballs |
| Linda | Runs the barn gossip network | Nosy mares |
| Doug | Your dad's golf buddy | Chill geldings |
| Barbara | Has opinions about your riding | Bossy mares |
| Frank | Brutally honest | Blunt horses |
| Karen | Wants to see the barn manager | Demanding mares |
| Steve | Just a regular guy | Reliable geldings |
| Nancy | Worries about everything | Anxious mares |
| Carl | Short, sharp, sarcastic | Grumpy ponies |
| Phyllis | Sounds like a church choir leader | Old mares |
| Randy | Enthusiastic about everything | Energetic geldings |
| Bob | Short, simple, perfect | Easygoing horses |
Names for horses with attitude
For the escape artists, bucket kickers and drama queens. Our funny pet names page has more personality-driven picks.
| Name | Behavior | Best for |
|---|---|---|
| Houdini | Opens every gate latch | Escape artists |
| Drama Llama | Overreacts to everything | Spooky mares |
| Mud Monster | Rolls in the wettest spot after every bath | Grey horses |
| Buck Rogers | Space-age hero, and he bucks | Horses who buck |
| Nibbles | Nips at sleeves | Mouthy youngsters |
| Sir Spooks-a-Lot | Spooks at nothing | Nervous horses |
| Kickstart | Needs a kick to get moving | Lazy school horses |
| Grumpelstiltskin | Rumpelstiltskin, but grumpy | Cranky ponies |
| Chaos | No explanation needed | Wild young horses |
| Diva | Only accepts the best hay | Picky mares |
| Snoozy | Naps standing up (horses really can) | Sleepy horses |
| Loudmouth | Whinnies at every car | Vocal horses |
Silly show names that sound official
These sound perfectly serious over a loudspeaker until the audience catches on. They also make great registered names alongside a short barn name; see our race horse names for how the pros do it.
| Name | The joke | Barn name |
|---|---|---|
| Not Tonight Dear | A classic excuse | Dear |
| Talk Derby To Me | “Talk dirty to me,” PG version | Derby |
| Whinny the Pooh | Winnie the Pooh | Pooh |
| Pay the Man | What the owner says every month | Payday |
| Mortgage Payment | What this horse really costs | Morty |
| Vet Bill Deluxe | Every horse owner's reality | Bill |
| Second Place Again | Brutal honesty | Deuce |
| Just Browsing | For the horse that eats everything | Browser |
| Oats and Ends | Odds and ends | Oatsie |
| My Wallet's Empty | Truth in advertising | Wally |
| Ain't Misbehavin | The Fats Waller song (he is misbehaving) | Bandit |
| Occasionally Sound | A pre-purchase exam joke | Sunny |
| No Refunds | Too late now | Norm |
| Pony Express Delivery | The 1860s mail service | Express |
| Blame It on the Rein | The Milli Vanilli song “Blame It on the Rain” | Rainy |
Tips for picking a funny horse name
- Test it with an announcer's voice. If it would make a crowd laugh at a horse show, you've got a winner.
- Check registry rules if you plan to register the name. The Jockey Club rejects names that are obscene, offensive or deliberately suggestive, so save cheekier names for barn use.
- Use a funny barn name with a serious registered name, or the other way around.
- Watch your horse's quirks for a week or two. The best funny names describe a real habit.
- Keep it kind. The funniest names are affectionate, not mean-spirited.
Frequently asked questions
What is a funny name for a horse?
Hay Girl, Neigh Sayer, Mane Attraction, Sir Trots-a-Lot and Harry Trotter are some of the most popular funny horse names.
What is a good horse pun name?
Try puns on horse words: Neighomi, Hay Jude, Foal Play, Mane Street or Trot Almighty.
What is a funny name for a big horse?
Ironic names work best: Tiny, Shorty, Speedy or Peanut for a huge draft horse always gets a laugh.
Can you register a funny name for a racehorse?
Yes, as long as it follows the Jockey Club rules: 18 characters or fewer, not already in use and not offensive. Plenty of real racehorses have had joke names.
What is a funny name for a pony?
Brutus, Goliath and Killer are hilarious on a Shetland. Meatball, Pickles and Grumpelstiltskin also suit ponies with big personalities.